Wednesday, July 8, 2015

I Love Myself ~ Introductions & Self-Love

If there is anybody in this world most deserving of your love, it is YOU. I realized this simple truth a while ago and it was one of the best realizations of my life. I needed to learn the lesson desperately because I'd had my fair share of terrible experiences socially and it had left a bad impact on me; I wasn't as confident about myself as before which needed to be changed.

Come with me back to the days when I was in school. Having been overweight through my teenage I was ridiculed often when in school. I was the 'fat nerdy girl' who, according to some people who had the misconception that they were perfect (cough-joke-cough), was the subject of jokes when they wanted to kill boredom. P.E. classes used to be embarrassing (because oh yes, when I move the world shakes with an earthquake, right?), lunch break was torturous (yes, how funny are your jokes about Sara eating away the whole world, haa haa.), and hanging out outside of school was awkward (of course you think this dress doesn't suit my body, thank you for pointing it out!). I had all sorts of body issues that an overweight teen girl has and thanks to the supportive people at school they were only reinforced. When high school began I knew I had to do something. So I went on a I'll-starve-and-get-fit diet and lost all of my extra weight. It was a good thing because I was healthy and fit and obviously prettier. I was happier too and I figured out why: because I could love myself now and be confident. That was the first time I realized loving yourself made you happy.

Post high school I moved to the USA and gradually saw some of my best friends turning away. I wanted to believe it was because of the distance, but I soon realized I had been the only one who loved them sincerely. In college my rotten social luck brought in my life some more horrible people. They disliked me for no reason. A superiority complex gave them the opinion that they were the best and I was nothing. By this time I was convinced there was something wrong in my personality but I soon realized I was wrong. It was just rotten luck that drove me towards finding the worse kind of people when others around me met good friends that stayed for life. I met other girls who felt bullied by them too and when I was sure it was they who were the problem, I left. I stopped hanging out where they used to, I stopped trying to explain or get them to like me, I just walked out and away for good. 

I spent a lot of my time alone afterwards because my horrid social experiences didn't allow me to go looking for friendship again. I'd thought being alone would be depressing and sad, but it wasn't; I was happy. I knew how to keep myself entertained, I had my family to love me, and a few rare people from high school who stayed in touch, even if not as the best of friends. It was all I needed to be happy. Somewhere in being alone and by myself I grew closer to myself and understood what a person I really was. All the time I had to think and ponder helped me develop my personality and know who I wanted to be and what I didn't want to be. I developed hobbies that brought out my creativity in its most excellent form and I became very productive. All the time I took understanding the faults of my rotten social luck helped me understand what kind of people existed around me. I fell in love with myself all over again when I realized all the good I'd tried doing to the people, even the ones who hated me in return. I was a good person with my own faults that I had to overcome and get rid of. True, there were people in the world who hated me randomly, but that didn't mean I couldn't love myself. The thought brought in me an attitude change for the good. Something changed in me; it was as if I was a walking talking force of positivity.

Loving myself has helped me in so many ways. I feel happier and content with myself. The contentment has made me regain my confidence. The confidence has helped me fight a lot of stupid body issues. I've turned prettier, more jolly, satisfied, stronger, wiser, and my view of the world seems to be clearer than ever before. A simple change in mentality has been so great for me that it deserves to be written about! I've decided to write the 'I Love Myself' series which will be a guide to loving myself. I'll be writing about the steps I took to fall in love with myself and how it has shaped me into the awesomeness I am today! 

Just a word of warning: There will be lots of self-love, self-praise, and mention of awesomeness. Haters are not welcome, thank you very much!

2 comments:

  1. Hahahaaaa! Right on target! Loved this piece. There's no love like self love.

    ReplyDelete

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