Did I Keep My Resolutions For 2019?

I swear it seems like the longest time ever since the day I had worked on my resolutions for 2019 and made this pretty graphic. Wow. 2019 was long. And yet short. It was fast and yet slow. Very fast and very slow at various times. I'm still not sure how I feel about this year - was it good or was it bad? Usually, by the time December begins I know what my year felt like; I have a conclusive decision. That is not true about 2019 at all. I have no idea what to say ...

Truth be told, I was seriously considering not doing my usual end of year summary and reflections posts this time. But then I shook my head back into its senses and decided I would force it out of myself. I won't lie, 2019 was a tough year - at least emotionally. And it affected my blogging because I ended up feeling brain dead a lot and instead of forcing myself to write to stay consistent I allowed myself breaks to chill and just do nothing at all. I thought of doing the same at the end of the year too, but no ... I think I really need to force this out of myself ... I really need to break out of this spell and get back to blogging consistently. Because it makes me happy and that's really the only thing I want to do right now: keep myself happy.

So here goes ... my end of year posts, this one being the first. I really do think these posts will help me look back at 2019 and eventually finally conclude whether it was good, bad, or ugly for me! I need to figure that out. So let me first begin by talking about my resolutions. At the beginning of the year I made myself some promises. Lets see how I did in keeping them ...

Love myself truly, madly, deeply: Self love is number one for me. Without being a drama, I tell you, that every single day when I wake up I actually look at myself in the mirror - that sleepy self of mine looking back at me - and I remind myself that I love me ... that I should love me ... that today I will love me. I falter at times and let people get to me but over the past years I have developed this strong self-loving relation with myself which has helped me overcome a million problems in my life. It has helped my self esteem, my confidence, my every single breath that I breathe on this earth. And this year too, I continued to work on that relationship. This one is definitely a promise very well kept! - SUCCESS!

Be silent in the face of stupidity: Another one of the promises I have definitely kept this year. I promised myself that I would consciously work on staying silent and not responding to the negative dolts in my life. I did it. To a great extent I kept my mouth shut this year when facing the ultimate stupids of this world. Someone said something negative about me ... silent. Someone did something to break my heart ... silent. Someone forgot about me ... silent. Someone argued against an advice or idea I had ... silent. I faltered very few times I think. Like when I really thought someone was going to end up in a bad mess and I kept trying to give my precious advice again and again. And when I texted a friend even if they clearly did not try to keep the conversation going. But those were very few weaker moments. Overall, I stayed silent in the face of stupidity. I'd say this one was a resolution kept but also a work in progress for next year. - SUCCESS!

Find and break a bad habit: This happened to me last year too, and again this time, I honestly did not get enough time to ponder over my bad habits. At least not long enough to be able to pick one specifically and then work on it consciously to kill it. Overall, I've become a better person, yes. But if you ask me if I found and broke a bad habit ... not sure. So I guess this one stays unclear. - NOT APPLICABLE!

Become spiritually stronger: This one is tough because I really want to believe I became spiritually stronger. So let me ask myself this: Was I more or less spiritually charged when 2018 ended than I am now? My answer ... I was the same. I've been good this year and from a religious aspect done a lot for my heart, mind, and soul. But I had planned a few things at the beginning of 2019 which I definitely did not get the chance to do. I have definitely not become weaker but I haven't improved either. It is exactly the same as it was last year. I don't think I am satisfied here. - FAILED!

Be at my creative best: Now tell me this, how exactly do I judge this one? Let me go by what I exactly wrote back when I set my resolutions and see which ones I actually did. I said I would blog regularly which was true for the first half of the year but then my blog-post-every-third-day plan did not happen. I said I'd work in my Wreck This Journal which I did not get the time to do. I did not get time for my Crafty Files either. I promised to start a scrapbook which I did and whatever I have done in it so far looks really good. I wanted to do a LOT of DIYS and crafts - I did not do a lot but I did some and they were really good ones. I did successfully put together beautiful display boards. My cakes and bakes were VERY awesome this year. I said I'd try lots of new recipes but I never got a chance to do that. And finally I promised I would read to my heart's content which I did. So that's four fails and five successes. Additionally I hosted a successful Potterific July and took part in a very dull OctoPhoMo and even did the Doodleween challenge. Guess that means I wasn't too bad but I do feel I could have done so much more! - SUCCESS!

Spend a lot of time in my room: Okay. I feel like laughing. Why did I have this as a resolution? I think I spent some really good quality time in my room this year but definitely not as much as I wanted to. I found myself DYING and CRAVING to get a chance to spend time in my happy place often. But to say I did not get enough me time in my room would be wrong too. I'd say this was a yes and a no both. Since I did not completely fail I'm going to go ahead and say ... - SUCCESS!

Make the most of every moment: "This year I promise myself to make the most of every moment. I want to squeeze the most out of every second of my life before it just passes me by." That's what I said ... and I kept my secret. I've consciously tried to make the most of every moment this year. I tried complaining a lot less and dealing a lot more. I tried my best to not stress about things that were not in my control or things that were not happening but COULD happen. It was a beautiful resolution to make and to keep! - SUCCESS!

Wow. I didn't do as bad as I thought I did after all. I was successful at keeping five out of six applicable resolutions. I failed one and I declared one inapplicable. That's actually a good job done! I mean, I swear I thought I would have failed everything. So as far as keeping resolutions goes, the year wasn't too bad. I have yet to decide whether that makes 2019 my year or not! But for now, I'm off to thinking of resolutions for 2020!

Good luck to me!

2020 here I come ...