Monday, August 17, 2015

I Love Myself ~ The Much Needed Alone Time

The 'I Love Myself' series are a guide to loving myself. I'll be writing about the steps I took to fall in love with myself and how it has shaped me into the awesomeness I am today! Just a word of warning: There will be lots of self-love, self-praise, and mention of awesomeness. Haters are not welcome, thank you very much!

Alone doesn't necessarily have to be lonely. My journey towards falling in love with myself wouldn't have been possible had I not spent some time in my own company. When I wasn't following ongoing conversations with people I was conversing with myself about myself. When I wasn't busy noticing a person's body language I was observing the way I behaved. When I wasn't preoccupied by somebody taking control of how time was passing by I was in control of my life. It was that brief moment of being in control when this love story began ... the love story of me and myself!

When I say alone time is crucial to understanding yourself and falling in love with who you are I mean productive alone time which lets you reflect and clear your thoughts. Back in my teenage when I was bullied for being overweight and nerdy I often avoided people in the most unproductive ways, one of which included lunching in the school's bathroom where nobody could judge me for the tiny sandwich I was eating and jokingly ask me, "Will that be enough for you?" That was called hiding rather than taking my alone time. When I met horrible people in college I was much more mature to hide away. Instead, I found out what the true meaning of 'alone time' was and how awesome it made me feel.

I'd have hours between classes when I'd just take the elevator to the second floor of my business school, find my regular spot, and rearrange the sofa close to the wall. Ensconced in my cozy spot with nobody to disturb my peace I was often alone, but never lonely. When I was alone and quiet I could (and this will sound cliche) hear myself much clearer. It was during these times spent with myself that I learned deep secrets about myself; I understood my personality clearly, complete with the imperfections and unique qualities it possessed. In my personal space I achieved a sense of self that was untouched by a third-person's point of view. I judged myself but not according to what anybody thought about me. The self-reflection, over the years, left my thoughts well sorted. It was as if I had met myself for the first time and sat down to get to know who this person was.


My alone time wasn't always me sitting in a corner, doing nothing, eyes closed, pondering over life. I actually did a lot during this time. I just did it alone. Some days my alone time was a Netflix binge of my favorite show Gossip Girl ... it is comforting to see drama in somebody else's life for a change, right? On other days I'd spend my alone time writing about something that mattered to me. Sometimes I'd be writing on my blog and others I'd be making up my mind about whether or not starting a personal diary was worth it. One of these days, I'd also just sit and do nothing because I wanted to think. These would be those special days when I'd be feeling very low about something and believe it or not, thinking always lifted up my mood.

I asked myself a lot of questions and came up with very sincere answers too. I questioned why certain people behaved in certain ways with me. I questioned whether I was wrong in many situations. I questioned whether some people were worth the effort I'd put in to retain them in my life. I questioned if I was happy and why I was not about certain aspects of my life. Answers came too. They came from me and in the purest, most honest of forms. I answered truthfully about where I thought I was at fault. I answered why some people weren't worth my efforts. I answered why I was right. The answers helped me realize what lacked in me and where I needed to work on myself. They also assisted my decisions of where I drew the line when it came to letting people affect me.

Somewhere in those answers I found the key to loving myself. It wasn't one big moment of revelation when suddenly the room became brighter, shiny rays emitted from within me, and background music sounded, "Aaaaah Uhhhhhhhh!" It was a slow and gradual process. Gradually I realized why I was awesome, or I should say, why I should believe I was awesome.

My alone time laid out the stepping stone towards a long, complicated, but fun journey of falling in love with myself. The peace and quiet brought out the best of honesty in me. It was relaxing to be able to be myself because nobody was judging or watching. The soul searching highlighted my personality with a neon yellow Sharpie; I could see through and grasp what was a work-in-progress. Therefore, it is not surprising that I am a huge supporter of alone time. Alone time is a blessing. It is what aided in developing the personality I flaunt today. Every single person must stop during the day and declare 'alone time'. If not once a day, at least once a week! The most honest you will find yourself to be will be during the time you're in your own company. Nobody on this earth can bring you the peace that you yourself can!

2 comments:

  1. Wow.. Amazing~*
    This is pretty inspirational... ~(♦.♦)~
    You just made me realize how much i was neglecting myself...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could do that Mishal! Alone time is a necessity! :)
      I'm writing an entire series called 'I Love Myself'! Hopefully you'll love the rest too :)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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