Sunday, August 7, 2016

A Hypothetical Jason DiLaurentis Situation

So it was a perfectly normal night and I was following my everyday ready-for-bed routine when Abbie asked me a question. I had just finished applying lotion on my feet and had pulled up the sheets around me when she said, "Sara, hypothetically, what if you board a fourteen hour flight and someone Jason DiLaurentis-ish sits next to you? Would you sleep?" I opened and shut my mouth trying to come up with an answer but ended up laughing instead. Seriously, where did that question even come from?! *laughs* We spent the next few minutes trying to decide which one of us would behave which way and somewhere in the middle of all that I decided this question deserved an entire blog entry!

All scenarios imagined in this blog entry are fictional and the work of pure wishful thinking. Any resemblances to the real Jason DiLaurentis are entirely impossible because let's face it, I'm just not lucky enough to bump into a celebrity with looks like his. No animals were harmed in the production of this entry, only dreams crushed and hypothetical wishes shattered into a million pieces of hopelessness and impossibilities.
Hear the sound of hopes shattering?

Now Let The Hypothetical Imaginations Run WILD
I thought about Abbie's question and came up with some facts, thoughts, realizations, and confusions!

Okay first things first! If somebody this good looking walks in and decides to sit on the seat next to me on the plane I will instantly have that face on. Seriously, you know that face! The face you put on when you see somebody walk by who looks too good. It's that funny look as if you've eaten cotton or something. You try to act all cool about it as if nothing in the world makes any difference to you but then you also KNOW what is up. Yep. I'll try to pretend like nothing has happened because OH LOOK I am so busy with my own awesomeness to notice yours.

Next, I considered the two main questions Abbie asked: sleeping and eating! I know for a fact that I am definitely going to sleep. No Abbie, I certainly DO NOT drool while I sleep so that's not an issue. I will sleep even if somebody so good looking is right next to me. Although, I think I will probably wait till he's asleep and then sleep *laughs* and I have no idea why I just said that. Abbie and I even joked about taking selfies after he slept to have documented proof that those good looks sat next to us!
Also as far as eating is concerned it will make NO difference no matter what the person next to me thinks. My relationship with food is too deep and intense for me to feel conscious about it no matter who is around. Abbie joked about this and asked if I'd still eat my favorite drumstick if fried chicken was on the menu (I'm weak when it comes to chicken drumsticks and if you fry them my knees will give away and I will fall to the ground in anticipation of that chickaaaaaaaaan). Well Abbie, I will. I will order fried chicken drumsticks and eat eat eat. Duh! Nobody is superior to that delicious perfect looking drumstick!

Another fact. There is no way in the world I will make eye contact with Abbie unless I have full control over my facial expressions and have made completely sure that they will not show signs of how I'm squealing with excitement on the inside. I just know she'll know and I'll avoid meeting her gaze or I'll end up laughing out loud. I don't know why but I have a strong feeling I will end up laughing out loud at myself and my situation. Of course I have to make a fool out of myself.

Will I talk? Umm, no. Or maybe yes but just reply if asked about something. But will I be able to reply? Will I just blurt out nonsense or speak in the most horrid way possible out of conscious excitement? Or just sit there and stare if asked something? *laughs* I've never had a guy THIS good looking speak to me. I have no idea what I'll do.

Actually on second thought, with the kind of person I am I think I'll probably drool for a bit over how good looking this Jason DiLaurentis sitting next to me is and then pretend like I can't see or hear anything over how awesome I myself am. I do, after all, love myself too much! Yes, mister Jason DiLaurentis YOU are the lucky one in this plane to get the seat next to me. *Pretends she can't hear counterarguments* I am the best after all and don't you dare ignore the imaginary crown I wear over my head all the time. It shines brighter than your pretty face!

In the end though this blog entry is destined to conclude on a brutal fact. A guy this good looking is never going to travel in the same plane as me, okay? Things just don't happen that way. They just don't. Fate just doesn't shower that much kindness over me. This is all hypothetical and that's all it will ever get to be! *laughs*
Who does 'casual' with this much style?
These men only exist on television.
That's it. Decided.
They don't make men like these for real life anymore!




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