A few weeks back the doctors ordered a head and neck MRI scan on me. No big deal, they just wanted to rule out everything horror they could think of before they could scribble 'migraines' on my record and let me go home in peace. Even though the doctor told me pretty clearly that she wasn't expecting anything to show up in the results which would be alarming, just going through all of it was a pretty upsetting deal for me. Why not just diagnose migraines when you're so sure nothing else is the matter? Why make me go through that awfully tight spaced machine of horrors? Somehow I agreed to get it out of the way so that everybody would stop bugging me and found myself lying down on top of that stretcher bed, nervous, as the lady pressed a couple of buttons which sent me right inside. While the scans took place and my brain and neck was examined a million random thoughts flooded my mind and I decided to write down a few of the ones that stayed with me even after.
- Will I survive this? Let me grab that panic button a little more tightly.
- Can I talk inside this machine if I freak out?
- Where has my life brought me? How did I end up inside this machine today?
- What if a bug shows up in this tight space?! WHERE WILL I RUN?
- What if there is an emergency, will somebody rescue me out of here first?
- I shouldn't have seen the horror movie The Possession a few days ago. What if a demon shows up in my MRI scan too?
- Will they find something? What will I do if they say something terrible?
- What must Abbie and mama be doing outside in the waiting room?
- Am I claustrophobic? Will I find out today?
- Who even came up with the idea of this machine?
- Can't they make the machine a bit bigger? This is torture.
- Is it this tight inside your grave? Wait ... I don't want to think about this!
- This head piece is digging into my shoulders.
- What happens if I accidentally move a little?
- Wow, it's cold in here.
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