He was evil, he was mean, he was unfair, he was disliked. Then he was bullied, he was weak, he was the one who needed sympathies. Then he was the murderer who ran away, he was hated, he was loathed, he was the enemy. Until finally he was the one who had loved, who had secretly served, who had sided with good, who had died for it. Severus Snape is indeed the most misunderstood character from the Potterverse. Like so many others, I have mixed feelings about him too. I like him but I don't like him. I understand him, but I don't necessarily do. Snape has this iridescence about him, with the many shades of his personality, which make it very complicated for me to decide how to feel about his character.
I've read the Harry Potter books countless of times and while Snape still remains complicated, I think I've sort of resolved the way I feel about him. I've pondered over his character and have come to the conclusion that while I do not hate Snape I do reserve some strong opinions about why I think he was wrong. Okay, maybe not wrong, but unguarded and unfair in his behavior.
If there's something in life I can absolutely not tolerate, it is bullying. When I read the way Snape was being bullied in the books I became furious. I was furious at James and my sympathies immediately shifted towards Snape. It was sad to see him being bullied and left embarrassed in front of everybody - especially Lily whom he liked. Bullying is just not right and shouldn't happen to anybody. That was the point in the books after which I secretly held a soft spot for Snape in my heart.
It was a soft spot that earned him the right to get my benefit of doubt, but it did not justify him and his behavior to me. I've been bullied too, and I see no reason why I must become horrible and terrible to others just because I had that bad experience. If James was bullying Snape he had no reason to go and join the dark side and become a Death Eater. No, nothing justifies wanting to join Voldemort. Nope nope nope ... unacceptable! Lily even pointed it out but Snape did not mend his ways until it was too late and he had lost the love of his life forever.
And absolutely nothing justifies Snape's behavior towards Harry. He's a boy, a child, an innocent human who doesn't even know what happened. Why take revenge from him? He didn't even know his father nor was he raised by him. He had no fault, no concern, no idea and yet Snape was so mean to him. THAT is not justified. If he was bullied it gave him no right to bully the poor boy. If he was hurt he had no right to hurt the poor boy. If he was angry he had no right to revenge his own issues by torturing Harry.
You simply cannot become the monster that once haunted you. You simply cannot be the same hateful person to others whom you once hated yourself. And if you do, I certainly cannot forgive you for it. So it's pretty clear - I can never forgive Snape for the way he behaved with Harry. I can never forgive him for being a Death Eater initially. But I do greatly greatly love him for his sincere love. I do love him for making the right choices and eventually laying down his life to save Harry and the Wizarding World. Even if he took some time, it is immensely difficult to come back from the dark side once you realize what's good for you. And Snape did that ... for that, great respect and love for him!
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